Recently it feels as though all the progress we were making has slowed and we’re back to the waiting period. We’re currently waiting on the delivery of our final home study report from the agency so that we can forward it on to Nightlight to continue moving forward. We had a heck of a time getting Rebekah’s doctor’s letter completed. It got lost in the mail or something the first time, and the second time it was missing the exact wording that Nightlight needed to move forward. Thankfully, Megan worked with the Doctor’s office to get the letter appended and that should be sorted out soon.

In the meantime we’re slowing starting to put together our nursery. I know that some folks may say we’re jumping the gun a little bit, and we might be slightly, but doing little things like picking up diaper bags and nursery furniture when we can catch it on sale (or have a coupon) helps us feel like the process is still moving forward. Rebekah picked up a bag for me because she knew I would not carry a frilly one – mine says Jeep on it so it’s awesome…nuff said! Some of the other little things we’re picking up can be put to use right away with our little niece, Hannah. With them in the house, she’ll have stuff to play with when she’s visiting Aunt Beka and her goofy Uncle Eric.

So, with the waiting game started again – what’s our next move? Once the homes study report is delivered, we’ll send it off to Nightlight in California and then they will have to conduct about a 20 minute phone interview with either Rebekah or myself (or both if we’re both available). Then they will start sending our family profile out to families with embryos to donate. We know that the Lord has the perfect family out there for us and will match us up in His time. We just have to be patient and know that His hand is continuing to work as it has been throughout the whole process.

Here’s some quick photos of the nursery with the couple of items we’ve picked up on sale (except for the hope chest – Rebekah has had that for several years). Enjoy!

We’ve hit a major milestone in our adoption process – the completion of our  home study! We had our final meeting with our social worker, Jennifer, on Friday evening during which we gave her the remaining few documents she needed including our reference letters. The folks who wrote letters for us – you are wonderful! They were such thoughtful letters and we can’t say “Thank you!” enough for them.

Now, the fun part begins! We still have to get a copy of the homestudy report to Nightlight, as well as a required letter from Rebekah’s doctor. We might just have to release the wolves (i.e. Eric) to sniff out that letter to make sure it gets sent. Once all the paperwork is received by Nightlight, we’ll have a short interview and then the matching process starts. This is a little bit of a wild card in the process as we don’t know for sure exactly how long the matching process will take. We’re just praying for the Lord’s hand in this and know that he has the perfect Snowflake picked out for us and the dots will connect exactly when they are supposed to.

We continue to be amazed at just how well things have fallen into place for us in regards to the adoption process overall. Once we established that we would be adopting, it took us little to no time to pick the agencies that would be helping us. We’ve had great experiences with both of them and Rebekah and I are both sure that this is the path the Lord had picked for us the whole time (though I would have never admitted that 2 years ago). It’s just amazing to watch the Lord at work…

First off, let me apologize for the delay between my posts. I had every intention of keeping a weekly update going, but as things started moving I didn’t take the time to stop and post in the midst of all the paperwork. So this will be a multi-purpose post in that I’ll share some of what’s been going on as well as what our next steps are.

~Taking a moment to breathe~
With all that’s been going on with work, the adoption process and our extended family, we just needed a breather. We spent last weekend in Hilton Head Island with some of the best friends in the world, Mandy and Jason. There is certainly no shortage of laughter when the four of us get together. Jason works in IT as well, so it’s nice to have a buddy to “geek out” with and talk about all the silly stuff we deal with at work. Rebekah and Mandy get to talk about girl stuff…who knows what that will entail, but they seem to enjoy it. We certainly needed the weekend away to recharge the batteries, eat a bunch of great food and laugh until we cried. It was a great weekend away!

We’ve also been spending a good amount of time visiting our precious niece, Hannah! I’m actually ashamed to admit it, but she’s got Uncle Eric wrapped around her little finger. About the time she was born was around the time we found out that we would not be able to have our own biological children, and that was harder on me that I thought it would be; however it’s turned out to be quite fantastic to be an Uncle! There for a while it seemed like Aunt Beka got all the quality time with Hannah and passed her off to me just about the time she was ready to be fed, so she’d get fussy with me (thanks, dear ). The last few visits though, I’ve been fortunate enough to spend time with her before she got fussy. She’s very strong and quite a little wiggle worm, and really likes facial hair…I can only imagine what’s going to happen when she’s old enough to grab it and pull on it (might be time to shave the goatee). She’s been an awesome addition to the family, and I think it’s been very therapeutic for me to spend time with her. We can’t wait for her to have a little cousin to play with!

~Status Updates~
As of our last update we had selected our home study agency and sent in the application. Our application with Nathanson has been accepted and we’ve started our meetings with our social worker, Jennifer. Our first meeting was this past Sunday and it went really well. This first meeting was to go over the house and get some general information about it, as well as do our individual interviews that talk about how we were raised, our parents, and our views on parenting.

We’ve also been very proactive on our documentation and almost have all of it complete, which will hopefully help move things along smoothly. Right now we’re just missing medical clearance for Rebekah that was filled out incorrectly by the doctor and our reference letters. We’re very excited that everything seems to be falling into place pretty well.

~Next Steps~
Our next few steps include a couple more meetings with Jennifer to finish up our home study and then we’ll be ready to send that off to Nightlight to start our matching process. I’ve been busy working on all our documentation for Nightlight which includes our family letter and autobiography so that when the home study is complete we’ll be set to pack it up and send it to Nightlight. We’re both very excited as to how well this process has been going so far – everyone we’ve worked with at both agencies has been just wonderful.

We continue to appreciate your prayers as we progress along in this journey. The Lord has been so good and answered so many prayers for our family on so many levels, and we’ll keep going through the doors He opens!

Until next time,
-E

This past week has been full of excitement! We’ve had a lot going on – and not just in our own little world. Where to start…

~A New Arrival!~
Our beautiful little niece, Hannah Faith, made her grand entrance into the world on 9/12/2009 at 10:01 PM! The family is all doing well after her arrival – thankfully my mother-in-law (who had been recovering from surgery) was well enough to be in the room when she was delivered, along with Rebekah. Congratulations to Jeremy and Heather, and welcome little Hannah Faith!!

Hannah’s arrival is certainly bittersweet. I am ecstatic to be and proud to be an uncle, but at the same time, it’s tough considering the situation Rebekah and I are facing. I know we face a pretty long road ahead to become parents and no one said it’ll be easy, but the Lord has a plan for us and we just have to continue down the path that he’s laid for us. Until the day we have our own “Peanut” to spoil, we’ll just spoil our precious little niece rotten!

~Status Updates~
We’ve selected the agency who’ll be handling our home study, Nathanson Adpotion Services,  and have started the application process with them and hope to send that in this week. We’ve had some developments in the last week or so that could only be the Lord’s doing to help open doors and guide us in directions to go. I can’t really explain these in detail just yet as nothing is set in concrete with these yet, but they are starting to solidify.

Our next steps are to finish our application for Nathanson, write yet another check and put it in the mail. Then will start the process of doctor visits, background checks, reference letters, etc. to complete our home study. We just keep plugging along and the Lord will open the doors that need opened and shut the ones that need shut. We’ll just keep walking through the ones He opens as He opens them

Today was a big day for our journey – we took our first “baby step” (please pardon the pun) towards being parents. Rebekah and I selected the agency that we’re going to work with to facilitate our Embryo Adoption – Nightlight Christian Adoptions. This was a big decision for us – one that took a good bit of prayer and numerous phone calls by Rebekah to gather all the information we needed to make a proper decision.

Rebekah could not stop raving about the level of service she’d received from Nightlight. They genuinely cared about us and our situation and took the time to answer all of our questions, as well as went the extra mile to send us additional information that we could use in moving forward with our adoption. Overall, I have been very impressed with them and look forward to working with them in the coming months to take the steps start our family.

Making this decision was huge in getting the ball rolling and Rebekah and I were both ecstatic to get the application completed, write our check, include our photo from this past Christmas and drop the package in the mail. We just can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for us in the coming weeks.

This week has actually been full of very big decisions. As some readers may know – I have been pursuing my MBA at UNCC since January. Over the last few weeks as our lives have been changing, and I’ve seen the amount of work needed to start our family, I’ve come to the realization that I just can’t be “Superman” and do everything. I certainly don’t want to sacrifice one thing for another – especially when it comes to family. For that reason, I’ve decided to put school on pause for the time being. I’m not putting it on hold indefinitely but at least until we’ve had time to properly pursue our family. For me starting our family and taking the time to do that properly and not sacrificing my relationship with Rebekah is more important than a degree. It really boils down to what’s important in life, and I will always put my family first with no question, no compromise and certainly no regrets.

School can wait – I have a great wife, a great job, a loving and supporting family and great friends. That’s a pretty awesome place to be and I can’t wait to add “great kids” to that list too. That’ll be better than a degree in my book!!

Application to Nightlight

As of right now there is not a lot of movement in a particular direction for us. We’re still gathering information about different agencies and their associated costs, affiliations, etc. Rebekah and I are currently leaning towards exploring the route of Embryo Adoption for start our family. This option would allow us to experience being pregnant and caring for the baby as it’s growing and developing just as we would having our own biological kids.

We are hopeful to have an agency selected and our application submitted by the end of September. There is a lot to go into this as some of what is needed to transfer the embryos to Rebekah would be medical costs and we have to see if any of it would be covered by insurance, and if so which part of our insurance it would fall under, etc.

Rebekah has taken it upon herself to do a lot of the initial research and is then sharing what she finds out with me. I am helping out as much as possible, but with my school schedule and “moonlighting” work, it makes it tough for me to dedicate a time to sit and read tons and tons of material. She has done a great job so far, and I have really appreciated the level of dedication she’s put in to getting this ball rolling.

~ACTION ITEMS~

• Finish our research on agencies and requirements, costs, insurance, etc.
• Choose an agency
• Complete our application and send in all required documents

Does not being able to father my own biological children due to my condition make me any less of a man? Am I broken, or a failure as a husband? Well…I’m technically broken, but I’m not less of a man or a failure as a husband. I think Rebekah would attest to this as well.

I think most men have this stigma that going the adoption route admits failure or that they will never take to the children as they would their own. They hear adoption and get freaked out. Honestly, I have to admit that I was one of those at one time. When Rebekah and I first started dating and began talking about marriage, kids were a natural part of the conversation. Rebekah expressed to me during those talks that she had no problem going down the adoption route to have kids if need be. I was okay with that in theory, but not quite as chipper about it as she was. I still chalk it up to arrogance or ignorance or whatever that we would never have to go down that road.

Now fast forward a couple of years and we’re in the situation where adoption the best suitable route to start our family. There are still other medical procedures that we could have pursued to try to partially cure the azoospermia I’ve been diagnosed with, but most of them were very invasive for me – and I just didn’t want to be cut on again for “investigative” surgery. In my case, the Lord truly gave me a peace about the whole thing and opened my eyes up to the adoption idea. I whole-heartedly believe that adoption is the route we need to be pursuing and have begun doing so.

I’m not concerned with the children will not be genetic “little Erics and Rebekahs” – they’re still going to be my kids. I’m sure by having me as a father they’re going to inherit some of my “better” qualities that would not be genetic anyway (i.e. good ol’ German stubbornness).

For Rebekah and I the choice was easy to make. We could have sunk tons of money into doing all this medical testing and still not had children. At that point we’d be up to our eyeballs in debt, childless, and if we were lucky still talking to one another. That was a price that was too high for us to even consider paying for children. I love my darling wife too much to lose her and our life savings just to have genetic offspring. I just want to be a father, and that is more important to me than what the DNA composition of my kids is.

The bottom line for me is this – I’m not less of a man by adopting. I get to be a Daddy, Rebekah will get to be a Mommy and we’ll get to raise a family together in the Lord. It really doesn’t get much cooler than that!