Our Story

Our story began as just about as simply as one can. I had a friend that called me one day and asked if I would be interested in being set up with someone she knew. At the first mention of this I said I’d think about it and just let it go – hopefully never to be brought up again. Little did I know that it would come back up again. As it also turns out this same friend had asked Rebekah if she was interested in being setup with someone (me). At the time Rebekah let it go as I did.

After a few months of not thinking about this inquiry, it surfaced again. This time I followed through with it and got an email address for Rebekah, and some basic info like how to properly spell her name (like the Bible) and that she volunteered at the Crisis Pregnancy Center. I held on the email address for a little while before sending anything out – then when I actually did send one, I sat at the keyboard for probably an hour crafting out 3 or 4 sentences that could have been boiled down to:
     1. I got your info from Sally Sue. (actual name withheld)
     2. I work in IT as a programmer.
     3. You volunteer – “That’s cool!”

She responded, for reasons I’m still not sure of (but sure glad she did) and the email flurry began. Our emails kept getting longer and longer, and more frequent. Then came the dreaded exchanging of phone numbers. Talking via email is easy – it’s technically one sided. I say what I have to say and then click send and off into the ether it goes. Talking on the telephone is a completely different ballgame – there’s give and take and you can’t walk away and leave a big dead silence like you can with email (like walking away from the computer because you get distracted or whatever). Thankfully, our first phone conversation was anything but boring. The conversation flowed very naturally and it was easy since we already knew each other from all of the emails.

The next logical step would have been a first date, right? Well, anyone who knows me knows I have to do things the hard way. Our first face to face meeting was at church literally 2 minutes before I walked onto the platform to sit at the drum kit. I didn’t punish her and make her sit up front with me during the service – she’d have been alone most of it since I was on drums through the worship set. Following the service, we went out to lunch with her sister and Sally Sue’s family. It was a nice relaxed way to get to know each other better and we had a great time. So, first date has to be next, right? Nope!

It just so happened to be labor day weekend and Rebekah’s family was having a cook out over at her sister’s place. She called and invited me to attend – honestly, I was a little hesitant to meet the rest of the family before we had a date, but I got over that and just went for it. We all had a blast and Rebekah has the sweetest family ever – even if her Dad did show me every single gun he owns when we got back. I’m sure it was a little bit of intimidation, but also because guns are cool, duh!

So we finally get to our first date – the now defunct Roadhouse Grill. We had a great first date – none of those awkward lulls in conversation and we sat talking well after our meal was finished. It was about this time I just knew that this one was so great I couldn’t let her get away. After dinner we went back to her house and watched “Sweet Home Alabama” and stayed up chatting way too late. Again, just so great I can’t let her get away.

Not to intentionally leave out details, but this story could literally take pages to tell,  I obviously didn’t let her get away as Rebekah and I were married on May 5, 2007 (Cinco de Mayo!!), and married life has been great! We’ve fallen deeper and deeper in love ever since and Rebekah and I are truly best friends!

Well before we ever seriously discussed marriage we had the children conversation and we both expressed the desire to be parents someday. Rebekah’s was a little stronger at the time – but what do you expect from a 24 year old guy?! After being married a little over a year, we decided it was about time to start trying to start our family. Around that time, Rebekah had a doctor’s appointment for a yearly checkup and mentioned us trying to start a family. At the doctor’s recommendation, we thought it was a good idea to get both of us checked out to make sure everything was working properly. Rebekah checked out just fine – I, on the other hand, was another story.

As an aside before telling the rest of the story – Rebekah through working at the pregnancy center had a very soft spot towards adoption. We had talked about it and at the time of our engagement and marriage, I was still not 100% on board with the idea, and had my reservations. Call it arrogance or ignorance or whatever – I had in my mind that this would be a bridge we would never cross. However, the Lord knew better than I and He began working in my life to help get rid of that notion.

Our dream of having our own biological kids took a serious hit when I went in for my testing. I didn’t think much of it at the time, you go in for the test and get called with the results. It should have taken a week if all was okay. The results took a little longer than expected, and the phone call came that I needed to schedule a visit with a Urologist to have the results interpreted. Boom! Hit number 1.

Still being rather optimistic, I went in for the consultation. The doctor was very nice and top notch. He explained to me as gently as possible that I presented as azoospermic (”no bullets in the gun”), and that I had a condition that could likely be causing that problem and surgery was required to correct the condition, but it still may not load the gun – or if it did, it would leave our only option for In-Vitro (ISCI). Boom! Hit number 2.

After lots of prayer, we decided to have the surgery and had determined that our stopping point was at insemination – ICSI was not worth the expense when that could be put toward a domestic or embryo adoption. I had the surgery and was laid up for about a week. Recovery wasn’t too bad – I laid on the couch for 5 days and played PS3. I love shooting aliens! That began the 4 month waiting period to see if the surgery corrected the azoospermia.

I kept as optimistic as possible during this time, all the while knowing the surgery may not fix the issue. Rebekah and I had some rough times during the wait – not with each other, but with the fact that human nature is to hear “surgery” and assume this will “fix” whatever was wrong. In our case, it was a possible fix – not a guarantee. We spent a lot of time talking about our options and a lot of time in prayer to determine our course of action.

The Lord really began to work on my heart during the waiting period. I became less and less afraid of the adoption route and more and more open to it. The night before getting the results of my 4 month follow up test I shared this with Rebekah and we both felt like this was a huge weight off our shoulders. At that point we were praying for a sign that would help us decide what direction we were supposed to go in. A great big one with flashing lights showed up the next day.

At my urology follow up, the doctor gave me the results of my test. I was still diagnosed with azoospermia. He had to have felt badly to tell me that yet again, and started offering options on what we could do. It was the exact sign we had been praying for. I told the doctor that this was an answered prayer and it clearly showed us the direction that the Lord intended for us to go to be parents. He said he completely understood and some patients will do everything it takes to have biological kids, and others just really want to be parents and there are lots of kids out there who need parents. He said he thought that Rebekah and I would make great parents and he wished us the best of luck in our journey.

So now we are at the point of getting started down the road of adoption. There are lots of decisions to be made and lots of reading to be done to find the best option for us to start our family.

~~So Why A Blog?~~
I decided to blog about our journey as a way to keep our family and friends up-to-date on what’s happening in our journey. We’re not ashamed or embarrassed by the journey we’ve started – in fact of the two of us, I should be the one that’s not okay with “airing out our laundry” since I’m “broken”, but the Lord is good and He has given me a peace about it. I’m not embarrassed and, in fact, I joke about it quite a bit.

Rebekah and I plan to provide weekly (if not more frequent) updates on our journey. We appreciate your continued support and prayers through this. We know the Lord will provide in His time and according to His plan and will.